Denying a Request

(Lucas Melo)

Childish sadness.

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I don’t want to go
It’s today, don’t want to go
I’m so sad
I don’t want my mother to see me like this
She must be so tired
I see it in her smile
I don’t want to be here
I don’t have a good relationship with my father
But he’s doing his best
This I know
I don’t want to live like this
But I’m afraid of moving forward
I’m afraid I was not granted permission to love
I’m afraid I’ve been so spoiled I’m rotten
To the very core
Of this very soul
Weary and cold
I don’t want this life anymore
For this I’m sorry
And I should be thankful
But I’m not
I can’t feel anything besides boredom
Or nothing at all
Or so many things I start to cry like life is the greatest gift
Then I fall
I put my hands against my chest
I breathe
“It should be here”
It should be here…
It’s today
They’ll call me soon
I don’t wanna go
© Lucas Melo 2022