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(Rupert Webb)

I wrote this while unemployed and sitting in a New Enterprise Allowance workshop. I realised early on that I was never going to be able to build a business case to get the money and instead changed my focus to writing down their unsuitable offer, which of course, needed you to sign your life away. It turned out to be very anti The Man. It’s very glum rock. Maybe an electronic beat? The verses could be arranged in any order, but it perhaps suits two pairs of verses, with the two line dreams/seams bit as a chorus. You decide!

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Its called self-employment You get advice from the Government They can help you get going A whole year till you’re owing It’s a matter of pride And we’ll help you decide Is your lifestyle viable If not you’ll be liable We can tell you to dance and sing Then we can claim everything We’ll wait till you default And watch as you free fall You won’t be very well then So we’ll take both your children You’ll see them again someday We’ll make sure they’re ok Share your excitement and tell us your dreams We’ll double your worth, while you split at the seams

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