Long Gone

(Casey Hartley)

He wakes up one day and she's no longer beside him. The turmoil he suffers as months fade into years and he's still left wondering why; she didn't even leave a note. He begins to question everything that was wrong within the relationship, and where she could be now.

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The bed was empty when he woke and her train was already gone Where's her clothes where's her phone I thought she had the day off The bed was empty when he slept and it never got filled again Except by shadows of you and the echoes inside his head Conversations all replayed what the f*ck did I do wrong Was it how he didn't hold you anymore and you've always bit your tongue Maybe it's because when he shaved he left hairs on the sink Or is it how you'd only laugh together when you'd both had a lot to drink Her smile playing on repeat till it bleeds into his soul A whiskey in one hand with the hope to make him whole Was it the plates he left stacked up until mould began to grow Or was it how when you said you loved him he would always joke 'I know' The bed was empty when he woke and her train was long gone Where's the fight where's the signs where's the note so he can move on The bed was empty when he slept with one ear glued to the door Because soon you'd turn around when you found out there was no more (no more out there) Memories forming into one as days creep into weeks He can finally have his space and control of the TV When you told him that he'd hurt you he always seemed to shut you out He never did well with emotions and she never did well with calming down Are you with your bosses' son the one he never did like Or in that far away country he always promised he'd book the flight Why after every petty fight could he always drift off to sleep? And she'd be tossing and turning till she got swallowed in too deep The bed was empty when he woke and her train was long long gone The nights you'd stayed awake you promised he was the one The bed was empty when he slept when he finally began to cry Did it kill her to disappear because it sure made part of him die Things are looking bleak but he knows he has to live Have you found your soulmate have you popped out a couple of kids? Was it how when you ordered food he'd always refuse to share Or was it how when you stopped f**king the silence was to much to bear? Questions she cant answer and secrets she'll never tell If you'd told each other from the start maybe things would have gone well Because your singing in the shower is all that he ever wanted Maybe in another lifetime you both wouldn't be so haunted The bed was empty when he woke as it had been for a year or two When the train comes hurtling through the station it only makes him think of you The bed was empty when he slept but he never did change the locks For one day you'd burst in and you'd say 'it's you I forgot' Because I can't go on...without you I can't go on without you I can't go on without you I can't go on without you So what do I do?

© Casey Hartley 2019

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