Dear AJ
For Alexander "AJ" Betts, Jr., from Des Moines, Iowa. Another teenage victim of suicide back in 2013. Like Tyler Clementi, Channing Smith, Sara Hegazy and countless others before and after, he was lost in the flood of hatred caused by fear and ignorance, after being outed, shamed and bullied for being gay. LGBTQ (our propensity to label people continues to fuel its own dysfunctional form of prejudice) teens are 4x more likely to kill themselves than teens who are not labeled so. Every 45 seconds, a person who has been labeled LGBTQ, between the ages of 13-24 in this great, accepting and empathetic country of ours, Attempts to take their own life.
A worldwide pandemic, an opioid epidemic, world discord, assault weapons and mass murders, hunger, oppression, greed and avarice running rampant, and we allow the flower of our youth to take their own lives because they're not accepted as part of the so called "norm"? Shame on us.
I wrestled with my approach on this one. I tried to imagine AJ's mother's anguish and despair. In the end, I went with lyrics written as a series of imaginary letters from mother to son. I'm sure no words of mine can do this tragic and on-going criminality any justice.
Pray one day we wake up.
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Dear AJ,
It's been pouring all day
The cornfield's all but washed away
And the moonlit mud is everywhere
Remember how it used to rain forever?
You can still feel winter in the air
It's springtime in Des Moines
We miss you
Wish you were here
Dear AJ,
There's a harvest moon tonight
We just got home from Prairie Lights
Remember when we used to take you there?
We're heading up next week to Okojobi
We'll be back in time for The State Fair
It's summer in Des Moines
Miss you
Wish you were here
Dear AJ,
The leaves are turning fire red
Now I know just what you meant
When you said the world was cold and gray
Anyway, the days are growing shorter
Pretty soon the geese will fly away
It's autumn in Des Moines
We miss you
More and more each day
My darling AJ,
It snowed all day yesterday
I wonder how much more we'll get today?
It's just not the same without you, dear
We're staying home for Christmas
Just like we did last year
It's lonely in Des Moines
We miss you so much
Wish you were here
Oh AJ,
You were so young and beautiful
So full of love and light
I think about you all the time
Sometimes it's hard to sleep at night
And every time I hear the wind
Or smell the summer rain
I feel your spirit deep inside
Swallow all my pain
And I don't know why, but I guess it's true
Most people never change
But if they tried, I know they'd see
That love is all the same
AJ, sometimes I think we're all to blame
Goodnight, I love you
Can't wait for spring again
© Christopher Van Name 2021
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