Little Rock
Mental Illness and Anxiety can leave you feeling small and insignificant. People quite often don't understand and instead of getting help it is easy to withdraw further into your own surroundings. No matter the fight, and after countless times of being beaten down, even a boulder can become just a 'little rock.'
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I am alone in a roomful of friends
I can’t atone, for the years are bookends
Life is a stone which is frayed at the ends
I cry and I moan but my reaction depends
On how I feel today
How I feel this hour
My demon may have gone away
But it will return with power
It’s how I feel today
How I feel this hour
My demon may have gone away
But its goal is to devour
I am a friend yet my own enemy
I can’t depend on my capability
When will it end, and I do mean visually?
I can’t pretend to be reckless and free
Oh, how I feel today
How I feel this hour
My demon may have gone away
But it will return with power
It’s how I feel always
It’s a cage I can’t unlock
While my world around decays
I am left a little rock
Sure, I am bigger than my mind will allow
But how do you figure that I can’t disavow
By pulling the trigger and ending it now
I may have the vigour but I’m my own sacred cow
It’s how I feel right now
And I’m trying not to shock
But I’m messed up anyhow
All I am is a little rock
It’s how I feel always
It’s a cage I can’t unlock
While my world around decays
I am left a little rock…..
Why do I feel like I feel is it a ploy?
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© Jay Egan 2019