First Casualty

(Jenny Yu)

This song is melancholic and ballad-like styled. It speaks from a broken heart's perspective to a boy who aspires to join the military as his future career. They are in their last year of highschool before they graduate and after a recent holiday break, she comes back to school only to notice that he treats her differently than before. They were once really close and had developed feelings for one another, but now he intentionally avoids and ignores her without ever telling her why. They don't talk anymore and she is churning with turmoil because her heart's still attached and she's trying to figure out what's happening while trying to handle the immense amount of pain the situation is causing her.

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〜VERSE 1〜
We only spent a few weeks apart
yet you’ve seemed to have a change in heart
all this time and not a single text
is it because you’ve lost interest

It’s our last year here before we leave 
maybe that’s why you got cold feet 
I know the truth is you’re afraid
but how could you choose to throw us away

〜PRE-CHORUS〜
All we do now is pretend 
Feels like I’ve lost more than just a friend
Do you ever wonder what we could’ve been

〜CHORUS〜
If I had known it’d end this way
I would’ve never let you get so close babe
you know I almost saw you in my future 
but you had to mess it up by being immature 

Cause when I gave you my heart to hold
you decided it was a burden and let it go
so instead you took a piece of my soul
And turned my world dark and cold

Tell me why you’re doing this to me 
it hurts so bad I can’t even breathe
what you’re doing is killing me
my future soldier, am I your first casualty 

〜VERSE 2〜
Now we’re both acting so cold
We see each other but we pretend we don’t 
Maybe it was bad timing
But inside I’ve been slowly dying 

My friends all tell me it’s not worth it
cause you’re treating me like I’m worthless
But I still can’t seem to let you go
Cause I liked you more than you’ll ever know

〜PRE-CHORUS〜
All we do now is pretend 
And things won’t ever be the same again
Do you ever imagine what we could’ve been

〜CHORUS〜
If I had known it’d end this way
I would’ve never let you get so close babe
you know I almost saw you in my future 
but you had to mess it up by being immature 

Cause when I gave you my heart to hold
you decided it was a burden and let it go
so instead you took a piece of my soul
one day you’ll pay for what you stole 

Tell me why you’re doing this to me 
it hurts so bad I can’t even breathe
what you’re doing is killing me
my future soldier, am I your first casualty

〜BRIDGE〜
I can’t believe you didn’t try to fight harder for us
the days of laughter and golden hours now flake with rust 
And I guess I was the first to break 
so I walked up to you after school that day
I know what you told me wasn’t the whole truth
I didn’t believe it and I think you knew
I know the real reason cause I’ve been there too
I just didn’t think it’d come between us so soon 

〜PRE-CHORUS〜
All we do now is pretend 
This wild ride has come to an end
Do you regret not knowing what we could’ve been

〜CHORUS〜
If I had known it’d end this way
I would’ve never let you get so close babe
you know I almost saw you in my future 
I’d be your girl and you’d be my trooper

But you made a choice to leave me behind 
And now we’re running out of time
But I still hope you’ll make it right
Before I’m your first casualty tonight
© Jenny Yu 2022

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