NSSI

(Karianne Gabaldon)

***TW*** A song about Non-Suicidal Self Injury, or self harm. This song is very deep into cutting and very triggering. If you cannot handle it, please do not read. Please.

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(Verse 1) 
 
I still remember my very first time, 
I was 11 when I did my crime, 
It felt so good, 
Couldn’t escape, 
My heart it was heavy, 
My head it was stuck in a daze. 
A daze. 
 
Now that I’m older you’d think I’d know best, 
But I’m just trying to pass the same test, 
30 years old, 
Dying inside, 
Never struck gold, 
All the tears that I’ve cried. 
 
(PreChorus) 
 
Now I’ll take, 
This razor in my hand, 
And feel faint, 
I’ll dement God’s plan, 
Because I hate, 
Everything in me you stand. 
 
(Chorus) 
 
I do it to live and not die, 
I don’t want to kill myself, won’t try, 
I just want to feel, I won’t lie, 
I do it to live and not die. 
 
(Verse 2) 
 
I just want some version of self control, 
Life sucks I’m alone, restricted you know? 
I can’t do a lot, there’s not many things, 
My illness just rusts me until I can’t sing. 
 
And I love how he texts me morning, midday, 
I love how he takes my worries away, 
I wish I could hold him and kiss his soft lips, 
But I’m not allowed to, my mom would get pissed. 
 
(PreChorus) 
 
So now I’ll take, 
This razor in my hand, 
And feel faint, 
I’ll dement God’s plan, 
Because I hate, 
Everything in me you stand. 
 
(Chorus) 
 
I do it to live and not die, 
I don’t want to kill myself, won’t try, 
I just want to feel, I won’t lie, 
I do it to live and not die. 
 
(Chorus) 
 
And I hate the way I look inside the mirror and my size, 
And I XXXX XX XXXX XXXXXXXXX XX XX XXXXXX XXXX XX XXXXX 
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© Karianne Gabaldon 2022