What Am I Doing To Myself?
This hip hop track is a fusion between the song "Self-Confusion" & "Options". The question is " What are you doing to yourself?" is it conscious or is it illogical.
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VERSE ONE
We remain educated full of excuses to shed blood
Like we've weaponized aspects of life to stay on guard
Reality behind the curtains is draped with a thick layer of normality
What's normal to a frog might be chaos to an insect in reality
But deception is a tool used to bomb the world into confusion
Chaos is the epidemic that molest majority of the human civilization
The devil had a kid who mingled with the children of earth
Created offsprings that became you & I from the womb until birth
I guess you get the picture I believe you've read the scripture
The pages are written in history but the words predict the future
It sounds like a mystery spoken in the valley of decrepit shadows
Walk the narrows & squeeze through the middle path of hollows
I toss arrows, catapult words, scream at the moon & holw at a hyena pack
Once I'm in it i end up looking like I just finished the last lines on track
Simple as I may sound I remain underground without leaving a grave
I thank the Holy Messiah for what I have & right my wrongs when I misbehave
HOOK
I'm tired playing this game
Hiding away from shame
Always being the one to blame
Seems the cycle is the same
Sometimes you choose the life to live
Sometimes it rules the life we give
At times options leave us to believe.
VERSE TWO
Sleeping with the fishes & waking up in the mouth of a killer whale like Jonah
But my life has been more than the tidal waves from the deluge of Noah
It has been so constricted as if it's in the grasp of a hungry Boa
Left & right punching walls from both sides of the padded room
Taking superhuman hits like a punching bag in the lair of Dr Doom
I've faced countless rejection than a bride getting stood up by the groom
Fighting my inner demons with a pen got me writing possessed sentences
Opportunities slip out my palms I catch feelings & expose my tendencies
Drawing on a blank canvas the summary & outline of my grievances
I reek of booze my day is just another drink from the bottle
Makes me feel out of mind, outer space like a galactic shuttle
This is where I rest & relax till I wake up tomorrow to continue the battle
Only to find that it's checkmate the queen ran off with some other guy
It's been too long living in illusion without knowing if its gonna die
Now that the heart is broken, the relationship remains one big lie
Emotions run wild, thoughts scatter & everything's turns to litter
This sense of confusion has left me under a knife in this horrid theatre
I finally figured I am the harsh enemy residing within Judas & Peter.
© Mit Thi Drugon VagueSpook 2023
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