Nymphomaniac
A nymphomaniac in a loveless marriage filling her entire life with parties and drugs and pointless flings, addicted to indulgence because she feels like she's already dead.
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The blood drips sweet,
raw at my feet.
Another night spent,
hellbent,
broken down on the street!
I’m not here
to be forgiven
I’m not here
looking for heaven!
I’m indulging all of my demons tonight
I’m out for the passion! For the action!
For the moments that you’ll swear you’re alive!
For the moments you’ll remember till the day that you die!
Give it!
I need it!
To live it!
To feed it!
Forgiveness?
forget it!
I'll live to
regret it!
I'll sin here myself
and I'll see you in hell!
The white drip lands
on trembling hands.
Another night spent
back-bent
in an empty romance.
I’m out here,
to get wasted
No more fear,
can’t escape this!
I’ll be damned if I’m abandoning my pleasures tonight
If I can still stand then we didn’t party just right!
I’m just living my life one moment to next
Drowning out all my worries in drugs drinking and sex!
Give it!
I need it!
To live it!
To feed it!
Forgiveness?
forget it!
I'll live to
regret it!
I'll sin here myself
and I'll see you in hell!
I'll be your corpse in amber
your secret forever after,
I'll be your doll upon the shelf,
I'll tell you all the things
no one ever told you about yourself!
I'll be your mirror
but only when you're blind,
I'll show you all the things
my heart has left behind!
Don't look deeper
it's platinum black
Just let me be your keeper
your pet nymphomaniac...
Keep me for occasions,
where you've earned a reprieve.
I'll open up my veins
for your lies, to receive.
I'll fall blank, face down
a doll at your feet.
Addicted to the token sugar
in your tea of deceit!
I just want to see
what it feels like to be
alive.
I just wanna feel
for once like I’m real
I wanna want to
survive!
I just want
I just want
I just want to live.
© Steven Mailer 2020