Man up

(Jordan Lewis)

This song is what its like for men in todays society, stuggling to live up to the expectations of "being a man" and "manning up"

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Life wasn't made for sane people There's no way I’m sorry girl but you and I will never be equal I was told by my father that was right to say You're beautiful in the fullest sense of the word Two halves in sync to make a whole Me i'm a hole Pitch black and cold A fucking vortex Meant to eat you up and spit you out Tell you that I love you then put you in a choke hold while I curse at you, i'm foaming from the mouth Drowning from my saliva, am I alive or Hey, I know this place Corpses by the dozens, there goes my mothers and my cousin and my other cousin and my grandmuffin But what's that feeding on them "Hey stop that! Sto-" [cuts saying "stop" short] I felt a hand on my shoulder Turned around and it was me holding you closer Teeth getting nearer and nearer I opend my mouth to scream don't kill her I woke up in our bed wondering which version of me was realer So many demons inside of me I can't figure it out For years i've been trying For years i've been sick and tired I'm sick and tired of dying Day after day, live die repeat I wish it was safe to be me But i'm not sure who I really am You see what i'm saying I want the world in my palm I want earthquakes to level cities I want us to all get along I want to live in unity I want the demons to run the streets in broad daylight I want something divine to keep us all safe at night ALRIGHT! I admit it I have a yin and yang and they don’t always want the same thing So they go into battle Then i'm torn apart in a meaningless struggle to grapple I'm afraid that one day you'd get caught in crossfire and left in the gravel And I’d feel no remorse because my heart has grown coarse As long as I devoured i’d feel as healthy as a horse As long as I put enough miles on ya i’d feel like I owned a porsche As long as I had material things of course As long as I manned up and kept going it didn't matter who I had to distort At least that's what they said huh? I know better than most where there's a will there's a way out Because I tried to end it all yesterday Now i'm in the hospital confirming it shortly I leave you this letter as my dogtags One day you’ll truly know me I’ll be taking part of you when I go That way you’ll truly hold me Because what's more personal than holding onto love What's realer than letting yourself go What's realer than real? I'll let you know Knowing what it’s like to have it all and deciding to bury it 6 feet below

© Jordan Lewis 2021

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