Counterpoint

(Steven Mailer)

Two damaged people come together but what might have been a relationship becomes nothing but the sharing of past traumas leading to a co-dependency forming that ultimately poisons their love.

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What was wrong fuelled the fire at first we let it burn long as we stayed and conversed becoming enthralled, losing our caution In the things we recalled. Giving each other all that we’d hid offering traumas like they were some kind of gift. You made me feel whole in the parts I was blank. Filling me up with the poison we drank but all that we built was built upon pain and when the fire stood still that was all that remained. We burned so high! And burned so strong! We changed inside but not for long! We tried to fly But then we fell and when the fire died We lost ourselves! What we were was the world we saw us verses them as we bled the wounds raw! Delusions became dogmas and dogmas became armour deified the trauma and made it safe harbour. We hid ourselves to hide the scars And then we forgot how we made it this far I made you feel warm in the parts you were cold. Filling you up with all the lies I've been told but that poison goes deep and deeper it drains so when your heart sleeps the poison remains. We burned so high! And burned so strong! We changed inside but not for long! We tried to fly But then we fell and when the fire died We lost ourselves! It was never meant to be! But I still can’t accept that you could be lost to me! That I could be better off not part of your prophecy! Your Ragnarok of self-realization waking up and you’re lost, looking around for validation, drowning in the carnage we’ve wrought with our mutually assured annihilation We made each other into what we needed and grew beyond the poison crop that we seeded. Co-dependent on our shared suffering, in the end what we fathered... ...was worth less than nothing.

© Steven Mailer 2020

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