2am is for the lonely

(Erika Poling)

The title says it all.

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Can I count on my mind this time To remind me to get out of my head Instead of letting me sleep for hours on end Behind opened eyelids At the base of my skull, above the back of my neck My clock has been way off, yet both hands stay ticking My whole life I must’ve been given the wrong batteries I wasn’t set on reality, most nights I’m up by myself Listening to the sounds of paranoia until I’m overwhelmed And battling it out until early in the morning 2 A.M. is for the lonely The war going on beyond my face Has made me addicted to the black screen ‘Cause my eyes stay closed But they know what’s happening They can see inside to what I held onto so tight The dreams are gone I lost them, but I was never going to leave them behind And before I could find them, they all committed suicide I moved on to the worst of the fight And I’m addicted to the black screen and pillows covered in wine Depression’s pressing itself, compressing the vertebrae in my spine Where’s reality? Come and find me I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be 2 A.M. is for the lonely Lonely me Can’t count on my own mind this time To remind me to get out of my head Instead of letting me sleep for hours on end Behind opened eyelids It’s the facade I wear like a keychain on my jeans That holds too many secrets one person should have to keep But I have to keep them shut up and out of reach They’re boxes that hold pieces I need to take out and assimilate Things of my unconscious are problems I’m afraid to read Can’t count on my own mind this time To remind me to get out of my head Instead of letting me sleep for hours on end Behind opened eyelids Where’s reality? Come and find me I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be 2 A.M. is for the lonely Lonely me Where’s reality? Come and find me I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be 2 A.M. is for the lonely Lonely me For the lonely For the lonely

© Erika Poling 2020

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