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2am is for the lonely

(Erika Poling)

The title says it all.

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Can I count on my mind this time 
To remind me to get out of my head 
Instead of letting me sleep for hours on end 
Behind opened eyelids 

At the base of my skull, above the back of my neck 
My clock has been way off, yet both hands stay ticking 
My whole life I must’ve been given the wrong batteries 
I wasn’t set on reality, most nights I’m up by myself 
Listening to the sounds of paranoia until I’m overwhelmed 
And battling it out until early in the morning 
2 A.M. is for the lonely 

The war going on beyond my face 
Has made me addicted to the black screen
‘Cause my eyes stay closed 
But they know what’s happening 
They can see inside to what I held onto so tight 
The dreams are gone 
I lost them, but I was never going to leave them behind 
And before I could find them, they all committed suicide 
I moved on to the worst of the fight 
And I’m addicted to the black screen and pillows covered in wine 
Depression’s pressing itself, compressing the vertebrae in my spine 

Where’s reality?
Come and find me 
I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be 
2 A.M. is for the lonely 
Lonely me 

Can’t count on my own mind this time 
To remind me to get out of my head 
Instead of letting me sleep for hours on end 
Behind opened eyelids 

It’s the facade I wear like a keychain on my jeans 
That holds too many secrets one person should have to keep
But I have to keep them shut up and out of reach
They’re boxes that hold pieces I need to take out and assimilate 
Things of my unconscious are problems I’m afraid to read 

Can’t count on my own mind this time 
To remind me to get out of my head 
Instead of letting me sleep for hours on end 
Behind opened eyelids 

Where’s reality?
Come and find me 
I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be 
2 A.M. is for the lonely 
Lonely me 

Where’s reality?
Come and find me 
I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be 
2 A.M. is for the lonely 
Lonely me 

For the lonely 
For the lonely

© Erika Poling 2020

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