626 (six-two-six)
Inspired by Kendrick Lamar song: Fear. This song travels across multiple topics such as fear, depression, and causes of pain and frustration.
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Chronicle my pain tell me what was the order
Was it the blood, sweat, tears, or anguish calling
Chastised for dreaming of perfect life like computer
I can feel the eyes starring not seeing my future
I can feel the breath rebuking my success
Because they refuse to see me as something other than less
Its utterly bruising not being backed by who matter the most
Loyalty don't come often I've never seen it up close
These repertoires hold knowledge worth more than silver
These errors bring frustration summoning a familiar
That cast out the motivation that was healing
Enclosing my demons in discreet messages of bad dealing
My soul the wax that bond closure through the sealing
Envelope mailed off to who I think can save me or at least would care
Mailbox filling up with with mail that no one can read or knows is there
I watch my mouth of speaking evil
Speaking up is a taboo among these people who claim they see you
Never seen
Was the vice of wolves
In the silent caves undisturbed they do sleep
Never heard
Was the voice of mice treading through the willows of creeks
Never sought
Was the little engine that could
No matter how hard he tried his best just wasn't that good
Forever heard
Was the boy who cried out for life
At the top of his lungs bellowing echoing twice
That no one ever believed
The reason the wolves at the top will forever deceive
Never squawked about
Is the shit they refused to flock to and hear you talk about
Now less and less these discouragements leave our mouth
Lips sealed
Minds in doubt
Do I keep trying
Or try to stop figuring this shit out
My biggest fear is one day listening and not hearing
A suffering soul who sent me signals they were nearing
The end which we all eventually meet
It's not the end I fear because that's just the eternal release we acknowledge as peace
It's people not trying it
People not buying it
People not listening
People not watching it
The shit I put my whole heart into
Waiting collecting dust
Everyone walks past while I await for something suspenseful
The reason I wake up every morning and put a fake smile on my face
A greeting I wish to soon erase
Acting is so irrational and tiring
That's not my propriety just a preposition
Every day I look at this shadow in the mirror and tell him to stop bitching
Maybe Jordan was right and we take this life for granted
Or maybe our tethered are actually severed
Neglected missing a savor for this life so they lack the full understanding
Of why we kill steal and deplete
And so it's you I talk to sitting on the other side of this beat
© Jordan Lewis 2020
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