Browse song lyrics

This lyric is about the dysfunction, and disorganization of my life. Even though I'm OCD, I have a really hard time focusing because of my ADHD. To someone standing outside of me, it looks like I have a very organized life. But that's so far from the truth. Most of the time there are so many thoughts in my head, I'm so jumbled, and I don't know what to do first, and end up doing things twice at times. I need to rearrange my life that it becomes organized. Some people say you should learn to meditate, but that's just not me. I try medications, and they only work for so long or only do so much. I try AA meetings, I tried talking to my sponsor, I go hiking, and any of this rearrangement of my thoughts I'm trying to get them organized is very temporary. It's a real frustrating way to live a life. I don't think I'll ever get used to it.

This lyric is about being a slave to my addiction. When I was using most of the time I was locked inside my apartment, not literally, just figuratively I could have opened that door anytime I wanted to walked outside, but I couldn't do it. I need help from someone, and that's the basis of this lyric. I'm reaching out, crying for help and hopes that someone hears me.

This song is about my dad and myself. Even though we are different in a lot of ways, there was one thing we had in common, we will both unhappy my dad was a straight laced guy, had so much integrity, never drank a drugged to an excess, in fact I don't think he ever tried drugs, I know he liked appear every once in a while. He was very talented, as a creative director and the advertising business, and a painter. It wasn't much he couldn't do on the creative side of the line. Me on the other hand I have some of his creative talents, but I certainly didn't do the right things at several different times in my life the alcohol and the drugs the lying, the deceit, and just the lifestyle I led, led to much unhappiness for me. Sometimes I just think I'm an unhappy person, and I'm not sure if that's the depression that I have or it's just my nature. My dad on the other hand had a lot of reasons to not be unhappy. But as a kid he was an only child, and his father was very critical of him no matter what he did. No matter how much success he had in the advertising business or how wonderful his paintings were I don't think his dad ever appreciated it. Instead of positive reinforcement Tommy there was always negative criticism. This led my dad to be very unsure of himself, very unhappy

When I was a kid maybe about 11 or 12 it was a strange guy that was living in the town I lived in and you'd see him if you went downtown. People used to call him Ahdiah. Now we figured that probably wasn't as real name, but if you ask him his real name that's what he said. He was a funny little guy, and if he wasn't hanging out on the street looking like a homeless dude, he was down at the bar drinking. Now you didn't have much money, so obviously people used to buy them drinks and then make fun of them. They used to get a kick out of him saying his name over and over. And when he said his name we would repeat it back to him. Now the bar stories I only heard about, because I wasn't old enough to go into the bar but when he was on the street we did the same thing to him as the people did in the bar. He used to be an important guy, and I guess he had money at one time, but things changed. I feel bad today about making fun of him, but back then that's what kids used to do.

This is another lyric about keeping secrets. If you're a guy, you've probably been to a strip club. I also know that some women like to go to strip clubs. I spent a lot of time in the strip clubs when I was using cocaine, and I'll never forget asking a stripper if I could trade her cocaine for some head in the back room. She just laughed at me and said I get all the cocaine I want, I just steal it, or men just give it to me without wanting anything back. Sometimes, they think they're going to get something back but the only thing they get is taken advantage of. This happens in the back room, also known as the VIP room, but people pay lots of money to sometimes get something but most of the time just get taken.